Let's Talk Interactive Online Ministries

So I asked myself the question…Can I blog with enough care and concern and make sure that in sharing my opinions I, in no way, become opinionated, critical, self-righteous, and a gossip? I believe I can! Let’s Talk presents “It’s how I feel” my newest feature on Let’s Talk interactive website and I’d love for you to share with me how you feel as well. No topic is off limits- whether politics, religion, entertainment, or sports- God has a voice in all of it. So join me as I sound off on how I feel about topics that relate to us all! Today's topic is: Spiritual Extortion

I heard on the news the other morning that clerk offices in NYC will stay open late to accommodate the anticipated overflow of homosexual couples seeking their marriage license and my heart broke. I grew sad, then angry, then in out and out fear as I thought about the state of this country and the obvious direction it is moving in.

My mind began to overflow with images of public apologies being made from politicians, celebrities, and civilians alike being charged with discrimination, told they are homophobic, or having it implied that they are not loving human beings if they do not agree with homosexuality. This is spiritual extortion! I don’t know whether homosexuality is genetic, caused, or chosen but I do know that I can love the sinner and hate the sin! You cannot force me to agree with homosexuality, you just can’t! And I rebuke the devil that says I am not a loving Christian for standing on God’s Word regarding homosexuality and in the event God himself choses to correct me, He will convict me, not you.

As a minority, I have always hated those statements that caused more suspicion than comfort like, “I’m not prejudice, some of my best friends are Black” to find out the best friends were a nanny and character on a television sitcom but to compare racial discrimination with homosexuality is offensive on so many levels I can’t even begin to express my feelings there…but I’ll try-

There is no question that I was born Black. Researchers are still trying to originate homosexuality. I cannot pretend, hide or conveniently alter my Blackness. Racism will always exists; it will at least visibly exist throughout my next three generations lifetimes so yes, I understand the frustration of being labeled and discriminated against but this is the world we live in. We are labeled, sectioned and categorized by color, education, age, wealth, and even religion because that’s just the world we share. We check off boxes on various applications which ask our race, ethnicity, salary range, and age range and/or household composition because those statistic, which supposedly will never be used against us, count and apparently are being by someone otherwise why ask?

So I get it, the world can be a cruel place to navigate through and hate make it even worse but to compare the grievances received based on sexual orientation with grievances received from being born a darker shade of God’s image, especially when only one of the two is described as an abomination to God is just wrong. So go ahead, call me every name in the book. Loving you does not mean I have to agree with you or lose sight of my own personal convictions and if the only way you can receive my love is by trying to force me to, then check your own motives and definition of love. So now going back to my original thought…

I can remember when 9/11 happened and as vulnerable as we were as a country, I felt a sense security in the realization that America, being developed as a Christian country, was in a covenant with God. We are one nation under God, indivisible after all, so as bad as it was, seeing our nation’s leaders pray reminded me and millions of Americans that we would prevail stronger than before. And then, the rubble cleared, faces were washed and bodies were laid to rest and America went back to business as usual. Citizen exercised their rights to remove prayer from schools, petition against the expression of celebrating Christ throughout the Christmas season again forcing the suppression of Christian rights for the freedom of anti-Christian rights as if this country never knew of God in the first place. How is it that gay a lesbian freedom fighters were able to crusade successfully for their rights and our suppression simultaneously? I believe it is because the unrighteous are vigilant in their right to be wrong and Christians are not vigilant about anything anymore, including Christ.

I believe that God will address this nation; I believe this is not the time for compliancy or walking in fear of being disliked. I believe that woman should have taken off their bras before burning them so that our place in righteousness would not have clouded with the smoke of our intentions. I heard on television the other morning on the Daily Buzz the question, is America ready for an atheist President? I wonder is America ready for a Christian one. I fear being called an American in this version of America. The bible tells us expressly what will happen if we turn from God and our country stands with our backs to His presence. If only we had the fortitude of fear outside of terrorism, where would we be?

If we embraced God, as our Creator and trusted God to victor our battles, would we be in financial ruins caring so much about the complexion of the White House residents or would we be nation standing firm in our like mindedness of faith? If we called God by His name and revered Him as our personal Savior would our international reputation be synonymous with prosperity, integrity, and unity or would we remain the butt of jokes in foreign college classes? No, it is not the threat of war or terrorist attacks that I fear in this version of America, it’s us.

Its walking into a Walmart and hearing Happy Holidays because Merry Christmas is offensive, its walking into a public school and knowing that the universal moment of silence is remove because some choose to utilize that time to pray, its working in Mental Health services and getting suspended for praying with those in crisis, it’s an agency offering overtime not because so many workers, many which are single income households, are in need of money but to accommodate the anticipated overflow of request for marriage certificates of gay couples.

With the number of children being created outside of the institution of marriage combined with the exceedingly high rate of divorce we can now envision a world in which homosexuals will be the example of marriage in America.

I have no problem with anyone coming out of the proverbial closet, but it will be a cold day in hell before me and my faith get shoved in. So this is a battle cry for all of us who protest to love the Lord, do you have fight in you to pray in restaurant over your meal? Do you have the courage to offer to pray with a neighbor or fight for your child’s right to pray in school? Will you refuse to help commercialize a holiday that can’t be called by its name? Will you throw a themed party for your children in October knowing that Christians like candy too? Will you hold up your Bibles and tell your homosexual co-worker, neighbor, friend, brother, sister or politician- I love you but I don’t agree with you?

Marriage is a covenant between man, woman and God. Two people do not stand before an altar, you stand yoked with Christ. If we don’t start fearing God and accepting His Word as the living, breathing truth- then we need not be hypocrites and stand before God in times of disasters. It’s amazing that America, being known as the melting pot, embraces almost every cultural custom and tradition except for its own. Standing in what we are made of is not the same of depriving someone of their own, but if you want to be called an American, shouldn’t that come with all of our history, legacy and fundamental chore Christian values? Of course when this country was founded, it was the Christians who believed it was godly to enslave Africans, so we are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it was also those same chore Christian belief that saw, over time, that all men were created equally.

1/30/2012 8:29 AM

I DO AGREE WITH YOU I LOVE THE SINNER BUT I HATE THE SIN! I AM SURPRISED TO KNOW THAT SAME SEX MARRIAGES ARE PERFORMED IN GODS HOUSE, I GUESS THE QUESTION IS WHICH GOD?( NOT MY GODS HOUSE) I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY DO IN THEIR SPARE TIME ITS NONE OF OUR BUSINESS KEEP IT IN THE CLOSET !WE DON'T HAVE TO KNOW WHO THEY SLEEP WITH THAT'S BETWEEN THEM AND GOD HE IS THE ONE TRUE JUDGE ! SO WHY DO THEY TRY TO FORCE IT ON EVERYONE! Gods people need to pray for change!thanks for your view its an eye opener i know alot of pastors who believe the same way!

11/11/2011 9:53 PM

I totally agree with you. It is disheartening to see how the world has become so accepting to what we know is not of God; and then make you feel that you are homophobic or not a Christian because you do not agree with homosexuality. I am totally against same sex marriage. It is a sin; God created a woman for a man, not a man for man, or a woman for a woman. The media tries to make us feel so guilty for not accepting homosexuality calling us racist or prejudice or Jesus freaks. In addition, I HATE the fact that the media compares the rights of homosexuals to that of what Blacks went through with racism. It is not the same. I am not prejudice against homosexuals; I just do not agree with it because of my beliefs. Black has endured many years of racism and oppression and I feel the comparison is a bit offensive. I love the homosexual but as I said, I do not agree with same sex relationships. We have conformed and taken God out of everything; this is why we are in the state that we are in. The poverty level and unemployment rate are so high. I pray for President Obama daily and for God to help guide him and help him get this country back together; a strong, a country standing firm, a country that all other countries admire and look to for guidance and help. We need to get back to what our country was founded on; GOD. We need to bring God back into our schools and workplace without people feeling offended because they see you reading your bible. When I was young I use to bring my bible to school to read at lunch time. I had a security guard at my school told me that some students of a different religion did not like me reading my bible in the lunchroom; so the security guard asked me not to read my bible in the lunchroom. That was crazy. I started spending my lunch period in the library. If kids were able to pray able to pray in schools the suicide rates of teenagers may be lower and less teens becoming pregnant at 16 or addicted to drugs. I pray for our country every day and for God to have mercy on us and give us a chance to get it together. From, Full of Faith

I was getting ready for work when I heard this amazing story. A homeless man, an incredible gift, and an answered prayer...As an inspiring writer, I thought, this story had all the makings of a Lifetime Original Movie but as an evangelist of the Lord and mental health profesional, I immediately feared for this man. As I sat on the edge of my bed, I shared with my husband the potential devastions of giving an alcoholic such access to substance. I listened intensely as Ted gave God the honor, glory and praise for his miraculous turnabout. I said, please Lord, let someone offer this man good counsel. I heard on one interview, he was two years sober, on another it was three but I couldn't imagine how sobriety could be achieved while still facing all of the same obstacles which caused his present positioning.

It is not at all unusual for someone who is facing their demons, both literal and figurative- to have experienced addictions, anxiety, depression and estrangement from family and love ones. When I witnessed this man's overnight success I knew that what would be exploited was his vulnerability and of course the fact that he had prayed and hoped for a miracle and would be completely unprepared for the consequences of such a bold request when in such a fragile state.

It was amazing how fast the tides had turned. I watched as a random homeless man went from obscurity to famous overnight and then back to obscrue again. From the man with a golden voice to the bad son and horrible father within minutes. As everyone struggled for their 10 minutes in the presence of his golden voice nobody listened to the unspoken cries of his heart which pleads for a chance at redemption, an opportunity to be a good son to his Heavenly Father so that by proxy he could be a better man to the universe. So this prayer is for you Mr. Ted Willims...

Heavenly Father

Bless Mr. Williams and guide him through this new challenge. Help him to find the strength that comes from knowing who you are. Lord, let him seek You first and your righteousness before all these other things that are coming before him so that there is no question what is a blessing and what is the enemy attack towards his determination to seek you. Amen.

Are churches destroying personal relationships with Christ?

I have been experiencing people through this ministry who have expressed to me that it was their relationship with their church that has ultimately turned them “off” to religion and now, all these years later they find themselves searching desperately for a relationship with God. So I started thinking…Is church sabotaging personal relationships with Christ? Well, this is how I feel about it-

For those people who were “raised” in the church and who have spent their fair share of time in church on Sunday, Bible study on Tuesday, choir on Wednesday, youth service on Thursday and back to church again on Sunday…there can be an overwhelming feeling of burn out but this is not about people going to church and receiving too much; this is dealing with the feeling of going to church and not getting enough and I think that’s a topic worth talking about.

I have been blessed to have parents that fed me the Word at home, reinforced it at church but also valued the importance of a Sunday at home to connect as a family. For that reason, I have never felt the obligation of attending church or being forced into feigning religion. But as an adult who is on a personal journey towards finding my purpose in life, I can say in truth that my relationship with my own church has done very LITTLE to foster my relationship with God.

In fact, I have gone to my Bishop on several different occasions asking for his guidance when I knew I was being called into ministry (and by the way, at that time, I was scared half to death by the very prospect of that calling) and it is now five years later and he has not afforded me as much as a conversation about it. I could have allowed his disinterest to completely pull me out of my calling based entirely on his authority within the church…luckily, I didn’t.

So, what is this experience with the church that many of us have had or are having which is actually causing some to flee? Here are some of things that I think is causing this rift.

I recently visited my home church after being away for nearly a year. I was very excited to reconnect with friends who I missed dearly since moving out of state 5 years ago. I naturally asked one friend how he has been and how the church has developed since I’ve been gone and was hit with the response, “Nothing has changed! Everything is exactly the same…unfortunately”.

This was devastating to hear and more so to witness. I believe an experience with a church should be progressive! Nobody likes to feel stagnant. Whether it’s a relationship with a job, a friend, a husband or church, you want to see the fruits of your investment to stay committed rewarded. It’s difficult to see things around you changing while everything in your space stays the same.

I recently told my supervisor my number one reason for seeking another place of employment is because I didn’t grow enough within the time I was employed there. I want to stretch and in the course of a year (let alone five years) feel smarter, stronger, more invested than I had been before. The same holds true with the church. If you are in a house of worship and you are praying for the same things you have been praying for year after year, you are still in the same place mentally, physically, financially and spiritually as you were before, and you cannot offer any testimony as to how you have matured in Christ over the course of time you have been there, it could be that your spiritual environment is hindering your walk with Christ and is stagnant.

Another thing I believe is causing this rift is spiritual malnutrition at the pulpit. Many people go to church to get fed. Many are seeking a connection between their lives and their walk with God and desperately need God to not feel so far away. The Word of God has to be delivered as the living, breathing truth that it is yet many churches just spit out anecdotes hoping for the best. Now there are many dynamic speakers in the church and televangelist too but many (much like Eddie Long) captivate a congregation with their charismatic personality and personal success stories and not the living, breathing truth in God’s Word.

The scripture reads in Hebrews 5:12-14:
You have been believers so long now that you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things about God’s word. You are like babies who need milk and cannot eat solid food. For someone who lives on milk is still an infant and doesn’t know how to do what is right. Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skill to recognize the difference between right and wrong. (KJV)

I compare going to church and just being given “a word” to receiving a list of ingredients and expecting to create some culinary masterpiece without a recipe! Anyone can rattle off ingredients. Milk, eggs, butter, flour, vanilla, and baking soda does not create a cake. But when those same ingredients are given in order, and it is shared how to measure each correctly, and then it is baked or timed perfectly- it can create something sweet and delightful.

Don’t throw ideology at me… "Do onto others", "Turn the other cheek", "Pay tithes and offerings"…I don’t believe memorization of Bible stories and Christian dogma will help anyone to develop in Christ. I do believe that learning how to actualize and live in the Bible’s truth will help you to develop into all God has designed you to be and in His divine purpose.

God’s Word is not only true, it's also relevant. There is no gamut of emotion, experience, tribulation or hope that was not already explored in the Bible. The Bible is not some ancient artifact; it’s modern and contemporary, up to date and right now. I believe you can only teach as far as your own maturity will allow and as God says in His Word, many teachers (and preachers alike) need to get back to the basics.

Another thing I believe causes a separation between God and His children is the hypocrisy running rampant in the church. Those who are called to be humble are living quite audaciously. Those called to give are busy trying to get. Those called to love are secretly despising others while themes like sexual promiscuity, homosexuality, drug use and violence is not only finding its way in the pews but leading at the pulpit! Divorce is real, adultery even more real while God’s Word gets lost in fleshly translation.

Even as we watch those who have been trusted fall, do you think even then we can expect heartfelt humility? We have watched mega church “spiritual leaders” and our pastors in local churches as they have announced their divorce at the pulpit, engaged in domestic violence in a public setting, admitted to homosexual and adulterous relationships, confessed money laundering, and most recently stand accused of coercing inappropriate relationships and offering expensive gifts as hush incentives with our hearts in our throats and our faith in bewilderment. Many leaders are not leading by example but instead offering a “Do as I say, not as I do” rendition of "spiritual authority" that every rebellious teenager in America can testify does not work!

One of the most famous quotes in cinematic history is “Show me the money” but this shouldn’t be an appropriate adage from the podium in church as ambassadors for Christ. How about instead show me the way, show me your walk, and show me how to utilize God in my life to obtain my purpose! Show me what it looks like to have a personal relationship wtih Christ while I'm faithful to the church.

Well this is my experience now share with me yours. What was or continues to be your experience with organized religion? Have you ever felt invisible or like a purse with problems or is your place of worship everything a place of worship should be? I want to know, I want to talk about it so let’s talk…

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Bishop Eddie Long

A Man Accused, A Church Confused-

Initially, I thought I'd read enough about the accusations against Bishop Eddie Long to make a compelling statement about sex scandals and the church, which is an all too common combination to speak of. But then I realized, how little the facts have to do with the condition of what is truly happening here. I can hear my lawyer friend Maria Alexander grinding her teeth by the very implication that facts and the law are not the only things of relevance in this particular case, but I'm talking about a much higher court and point of contention that man is falling oblivious to.

Bishop Eddie Long, once accepting the title of Bishop, accepted a call from the Lord that requires of him a standard of which he may have learned he can or cannot live up to. The facts of this situation remain on its most primitive level about: A man who accepted a position of godliness and allowed his flesh to supersede his spirit so now as a result- Satan has been running amuck in the his church, his household, his finances, his authority, his prestige and what I believe Satan wants to destroy most- his anointing.

If I could escape from the legalization of this travesty long enough to seek God, I would see an image of God allowing an opportunity for massive reconciliation with mankind via a man and a man, again so wrapped up in his own self, that he is missing it...entirely. I would assume that Bishop Long might not imagine that it was all for this. That he might not think that God has allowed for his church to gain mega status and for him to stand accused all for a day such as this. It always amazes me how we, as ministers of the Lord, preach that God is the author of our lives, knowing our beginning and our end and then act incredibly surprised (as evidenced by our public appearances and responses in crisis) when God approaches a chapter of our lives that doesn’t read like a perfect fairy tale.

Now before I start to sound as if I have been persuaded by the passionate and apparent determination by BJ Bernstein to seek restitution on behalf of the alleged victims of Bishop Long’s alleged deviance; let me make clear that it is the words, actions and deeds of Bishop Long himself that makes me most perplexed and prayerful of the condition of the church in these end days. From my perspective, it seems as if Bishop’s legal team will argue “narcissism” as his point of imperfection but we all know that narcissism is not a crime. The billboard in Atlanta will show a conceited man as much in love with himself as he is in love with the Lord, but nothing more.

All of the discrimination against homosexuality or in his case against homosexuals (as we as Saints are to hate the sin but love the sinner and we sometimes miss the mark in our zealous attempt to reach righteousness we land on self righteousness instead) will stand and his hypocrisy as evidence by his inappropriate style of mentorship with the young men in his church by sharing pictures of himself via modern technology will be an undertone but certainly not a crime. The charge of breach of fiduciary duty will be excused by Bishop Long’s own admission of not being a perfect man and the patrons of Newbirth Missionary Baptist Church can rest assure that their hero will fight this battle with the will of David himself.

Now here’s the problem within my heart and forgive me but, it’s how I feel: Bishops are not supposed to be narcissistic, blatantly imperfect, with anger and prejudice against God’s children (And yes, I just referred to homosexuals as God’s children), inappropriate, or in the belief that they are able to fight their own battles as all battles are the Lords. My heart is bleeding for a man with whom I have never met because from my awkward perspective he is missing out on his entire destiny by simply refusing to humble himself to his own audacity let alone God’s call on his life.

I am not a “member” of Newbirth Missionary Baptist Church, but I am a member of those called to serve God and to testify and live by His Word in truth. These accusations transcend race, socioeconomic status, and membership bragging rights. My heart is longing to pray for and with this man, his family, and his congregation because whether true or not, it reflects on the fragility of God’s church and speaks to the naivety of those called to head them.

Let’s talk about it-

Take a second to pray over 1Timothy 3:1-6 as it reads:

1Timothy 3:1-6 (KJV)

This is a true saying, if a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.

A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;

One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;

(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.

Because this circumstance houses litigations, allegations and speculations- I cannot speak to the nature of those who fall under the heading of “victim” and if I did, I’d have to account for the other some 25,000 victimized members of this ministry who are facing the uncertainty, confusion, fear and trepidation that accompanies this series of events- I’m limiting my heartfelt care and concern to Bishop Eddie Long himself, who in his humanness, got caught up in what the Word clearly knew he would and the body of Christ around him who got so caught up in his celebrity, that they didn’t have the fortitude to step in and say to Bishop Long “You’re stepping outside of God’s definition of who His Word says you are to be in your position.”

There is no doubt that Bishop long has a history of generosity and good works around the globe through his ministry- but there is also a history (whether validated or not) of violence against his wife, wedlock, excessive spending and haughtiness, as well as vigilant discrimination against gays. It shouldn't have taken an outrageous allegation to make the Bishop step down, it should have been a heartfelt convesation with other bodies in Christ or a heartfelt look in the mirror but at the end of the day, God is trying to speak with you Bishop Eddie Long and maybe you couldn't hear Him over affirming cheers of your congregation- but now that He has your attention- please, let Him speak to your heart.

With love, heartfelt prayer and respect-

Evangelist Nidicka Frederick

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