Let's Talk!
ADVICE Column
You've Got Questions and We've Got Answers
Share your questions and we will share the Word of God.
Q. Dear Let's Talk,
My 17 yr old son is interested in getting a tattoo. I do not want him to get one but I'm afraid that if I forbid him, he will get one out of rebellion. What should I do? Worried in PA
A. Dear Worried,
I agree that if you attempt to "forbid" your son from getting a tattoo that he may act in rebellion. The fact that you are "worried" that he may make the wrong decision tells me that he may not be well equipped with what he needs to make the right decisions. Talk to your son like the young adult he is and remember, the decision- whether right or wrong, is ultimately his to make. Share with him what God's Word says about tattoos and don't overwhelm him with your opinion about them. The scripture says in Leviticus 19:23 (NLT)
“Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos. I am the Lord.
The scripture also says in 1 Corinthians 6:18-19 (NLT)
"Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body."
It's important that you realize that the decisions your son is going to make will be based on where he stands in his relationship with God and not where you stand in yours or wish him to be in his. He needs to know that both you and God will continue to love him regardless of what he decides. Stand on Gods Word and remember your part is to guide him in what he should do; for the scripture says in Proverbs 22:6 (NLT) "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it."
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Q. Dear Let's Talk,
I have a friend who constantly hurts my feelings and then acts as if she's done nothing wrong. She is now trying to rekindle a frienship after two years! Should I let go of the past and forgive her even though my gut says stay to away? Trying to be a good friend in PA
A. Dear Trying to be a good friend,
No one likes getting their feelings hurt! I can completely understand your caution and concern of getting hurt again. It is completely possible to hold on to your Christian values while keeping your heart intact. While I believe you are to love, you are not obligated to engage with your friend and her unfreindly ways. Engagement is what actually gives your "friend" the power and ability to hurt you, not your choice to choose kindness over anger and animosity.
Let's take it to God's Word. The scripture says in Proverbs 17:9 (NLT) "Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends." You have an opportunity to stretch and grow as a Christian when you forgive someone who has hurt you. To dwell on the past mistakes of a "friend" will only separate you and destroy the possibility of a genuine friendship developing. So does this mean to leave yourself wide open for someone to come in and hurt you? Absolutely not!!!Loving and even forgiving does not mean engaging.
You are not required to share your dreams, secrets, plans, insecurities or any "private information" with someone because they claim to be your friend. The scripture also says in Proverbs18:24 (NLT)"There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother." This sripture confirms that there is a difference between an "implied friend" and an "actual friend" and you can use your discernment (That voice within acknowledged by you as a gut feeling) in differentiating the two!
As the person who is walking in desire of righteousness, you can set the example. “Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked. (Luke 6:35).
Show your friend what genuine friendship looks like. Stay kind, and pray that God enters her heart and mends her "unfriendly ways". Love is contagious and although you cannot change her or her behaviors, you can change your own heart and reactions towards her. Therefore, once you:love, forgive, use discernment, and pray for her God will supenaturally do the rest!
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Thanks for your advice. It was very helpful to me and inspiring. Trying to be a good friend.
Send your comments on this question and/or advice to be posted.
Dear Let's Talk: Thank you for your advice. I knew I was talking to someone in the right place. Like this is the message I was meant to receive. I need God's help in being strong and being wise. Thank you again and always appreciative: (I have told friends about your Christian Counseling).
